Allowing Love

This practice is inspired by a creative exploration of the classical Metta Meditation. It is important to remember to approach this as a creative practice that is geared towards one’s own experience of allowing love/kindness/care to flow through. This means that there is no specific right way to do this. The way you will know if it is working is if you start to notice love is here right now (no matter how slight). Love naturally flows through us all – it is what we are – so we don’t have to “generate” or “manufacture” love.

As children we tend to learn from our parents and teachers to withhold love – to stop the flow – and to move instead from fear. Fear seeks love from others but hides the love that we are. Fear also misses what love really is and treats it as a commodity, which is why when you get approval (which fear confuses with love); it isn’t long before you are looking for more – as though you’ve run out of approval. Since fear tries to control, it uses this commoditized love as one of it’s manipulation tactics. So a parent, who wants a child to say “thank you,“ will withhold love when the child doesn’t say “thank you.” The child immediately experiences a coldness (they actually feel the withholding of love) – the child doesn’t want to experience this coldness anymore, so s/he behaves differently, says “thank you” and begins to move from fear, saying “thank you” to preemptively avoid the coldness.

Moreover, the child learns from the parent's behavior that withholding love is the way to get what we want - and ultimately, that getting what we want, is the key to happiness.

Because fear has become the primary energy that motivates much of our actions, we are not familiar with following love. This practice will help us recognize (re = once again, cognize = know) the love that is always there.

INSTRUCTIONS:

Bring a being to mind (self or other or group) - Ask yourself:

What would this being be like if s/he was happy and peaceful? (let your mind and heart connect to images of the being as happy and peaceful)

Is this something you would like for this being?

If yes, then offer: “May you be happy and peaceful.”

What would this being be like if s/he knew s/he was safe and could not be harmed?

Is this something you would like for this being?

If yes, offer: “May you know you are safe and cannot be harmed.”

What would this being be like if s/he lived with ease and met every arising with love?

Is this something you would like for this being?

If yes, offer: “May you live with ease and meet every arising with love.”

Then rest into repeating while keeping the being in mind for as long as you want:

“May you be happy and peaceful.”

“May you know you are safe and cannot be harmed.”

“May you live with ease and meet every arising with love.”

You can change the lines and approach as fits your inner sense - creatively explore

Generally in Metta practice the prescribed order is:

Benefactor (someone or something, that is easy/simple to love)

Self

Neutral other

Complicated other

Difficult other

All beings everywhere

But really this part is creative also - so it can be for the random stranger you meet walking down the street or meet in a supermarket. Or for someone who just pops into your mind. It is especially potent when you notice your sense of love being withheld - a sort of inner clench - this practice can help you come back to moving and seeing from love, and thus realign you with your true nature.